Tyler's Tips

As a server, we have all had to deal with the crazy/stupid/bitchy/nice/demanding/moody/thankful customers that seem to "grace" our industry with their presence on a Friday night in a crowed dining room. We have some memories.

Tips:
-I mean really, who enjoys refilling that same diet coke 3 times within 5 minutes, or bringing a table more bread every time you pass them? HA! Not I! But I'll do it with a smile on my face, CAUSE I WANT YOUR MONEY!
-We remember you more if you don't tip, and when you come in that second time, you will get shitty service. Even if I had you last time and you didn't tip me, I will talk about you to your current server and tell them how you didn't tip me.
-Oh and we may seem nice to your face, but on the other side of the swinging doors my friend, it's a whole different world.
If you don't expect to tip, go through a drive-thru

The Campers
What is wrong with these people? Why would you come into a restaurant at 6pm before the dinner rush, be done with your entrees at 6:50, receive your bill at 6:53, the bill sits on the table with no credit card or cash laid out until at least 7:15, then I guess you finally realize your bill is there at pay it by 7:30, oh but it doesn't end there... You finally get up and put your coat on at 8:00 and leave the dining room at 8:10. Wow.... thanks you have successfully deprived me of a table in my section for the whole dinner rush as you have marked your territory by sitting in the same seat for 2 HOURS. Honestly, why would you want to sit and have a conversation in a crowded dining room with servers rushing around, babies crying/screaming/yelling, and kids running through the aisle like they are in their own backyard..... sounds like an uncomfortable conversation setting to me. As my friend Evan would say: "I SAID... GET OUT!"

The Verbal
As soon as a customer says: "Thank you so much, you were a great server this evening".... It's over. That was your tip. Whenever the customer begins to say this phrase I just want to say "Stop talking, and write it down... You see that spot on your credit card slip that says 'gratuity?' Write down how good I was as your server right there. Thank You, Have a good night"

The Kids:
After waiting on a family with small children, and then having to clean up that table after the family with small children leave, I am not sure if I will every want to have children of my own.... Enough said.

Maggie's Advice

Maggie has bartended for about 3 years in Wisconsin and now in L.A. Here's the red-head's advice for customers.

1) We remember when you tip well, and will take care of you...and vice versa...we never forget a face that doesn't tip.

2) If you complain about the prices then ask for extra liquor, you will not get it.

3) Don't ever go into a bar expecting free drinks.
3a) If you buy many rounds, tip well, are friendly, and/or come in often, your bartender will most likely buy you a drink or round.

4) If you have been 86d from a bar...don't go back into it.

5) Don't start a fight with the bartender or bouncer...you will lose.

6) Don't walk into a bar talking shit about anyone that works there. First impressions mean a lot. (Stories will get back to them...hence the phrase "as the barstool turns")

7) For LA: If you don't know if there is valet parking...don't give your keys to the guy outside the bar.

8) If you make your bartender laugh, they will most likely come to you first. If you try too hard, or creep them out, they will avoid you as long as they can.

Welcome!

Hello!

My name is Hannah.
I'm a 21-year-old college student who has worked in restaurants and bars since age 16.

In my years serving tables and making cocktails, I've seen, heard and learned quite a bit about--about the service industry and about life in general. This blog, Dirty Aprons and Broken Glasses, is for servers and patrons. For servers, cooks and bartenders, it's a place to read funny stories and reply with your own rants and raves. For patrons, it's a place to get advice about how to be a better customer (read: TIP!). Check back regularly for stories about serving adventures, updates on my weekends working at the bar, shot recipes and more.



Photo: This is a photo of me serving my parents at Bar Austin in Alicante, Spain in June 2007.